DISCLAIMER: This week we’ll be revisiting the subject matter regarding toxic masculinity and misogyny, but looking at it more closely in regards to the underground music community and beat culture that many of you reading are probably somewhat involved in. Once again, the subjects covered pertain to stories & real life cases of abuse, sexual assault, rape, and mental trauma, so I’d advise that if you are still undergoing treatment or healing from these problem areas, next week may be a better time to read. Please take care of yourselves and continue to live your truth as you see comfortable. However, I do urge that if you skip reading for health purposes, head to the bottom of the article to find a list of ten women making incredible music, guaranteed to make you feel good and help heal.
Toxic masculinity is a topic that we’d already had touched on a few weeks ago. However, with recent events, I felt as though it were absolutely necessary to speak to my fellow men directly, once again.
Misogyny is everywhere and for many of us, we have become desensitized to it.
Various forms of media and generational toxicity have laid the foundation for many men blatantly disregarding the cries of women, even those that one might consider a friend. In the grand scheme of things, we all have to do a better job at calling out acts of misogyny when they arise and instead of backing away from touchy subjects, claiming it’s none of our business, we should actively be looking to be involved in conversations on how we can work more effectively towards dismantling the patriarchy. The destruction of this prison that women are held captive in, fortified by distorted views of masculinity, is also predicated on addressing crimes against womanhood in not only mainstream settings, but even in an underground context. Recent events and a plethora of situations have brought this discussion to our doorstep once again, but it hasn’t been anything new, nor should we continue to act in a manner that is complacent. We cannot continue to call ourselves a ‘community’, when women who are fearlessly forging their own path are continued to be met with criticism, sexism, and prejudice in what we tout as a safe space. Whilst many others choose to remain complicit through silence, there’s an undisputed infestation of misogyny that has burrowed its way even into underground culture, mirroring similar levels of toxic masculinity that we see played on a mainstream stage.
Reports of abuse & harassment held against the likes of Medhane, Nohidea, and Talib Kweli all feel extraordinarily gutting, but for some, this isn’t new behavior nor is it necessarily surprising. Women have been preaching that “men ain’t sh*t” from the pulpit for what seems like eons at this point, but we collectively continue to drown out those cries. Perhaps it’s because for sometime now, we’ve seen some of these individuals as representing the proper direction in which the culture of Hip-Hop should be progressing. In another hand, they might’ve been a beacon of hope to those who wanted to make something of themselves, living quietly in the despairs that this world often thrusts upon us all at random intervals. However, what good is a light that inspires others, but maliciously blinds those that are innocent?
For those that are unaware of recent events involving the transgressions of the aforementioned artists, below are a series of twitter threads & external links going into detail about each individuals heinous actions. Some are easier to read than others, so I advise to consume with caution.
Talib Kweli (gaslighting, doxing, and harassing numerous women via social media)
Nohidea (assaulting, raping, & abusing their former partner)
Medhane (claims of sexual assault and rape)
Not necessarily unique to the case of Talib Kweli, but an interesting point was made, questioning why a plethora of the affluent black men that are aligned with Kweli had yet to check him or speak on the matter. While we aren’t privy to all the conversations that take place behind closed doors, it almost feels as though many of Kweli’s contemporaries are hoping to silently retreat from addressing his problematic actions.
I can undoubtedly assure you that misogyny exists in underground cultures, even the very one I love and have found some of my greatest confidants in. There were moments where I was blind to it and failed to see what devils were in the details: Lineups on show bills composed of strictly men, all male producers on playlists / compilations, men trying to coax sex out of female collaborators, the overall lack of media coverage for female producers, DJs, and artists. In trying to make a name for myself or build my own platform, I wasn’t paying attention to the egregious misconduct that would befall my peers (and superiors) that are women. Navigating the world as a black man comes with its own unique criteria of hardship, disenfranchisement, and prejudice, but there’s still a thicker coating of privilege surrounding my existence that many women (particularly black women) simply do not have.
Simply addressing instances of misogyny as being ‘none of your business’ is an act of complicity with the overarching theme of abusing women. When there are matters involving the dismissal of someones humanity with extreme prejudice, from a vantage point of privilege, those are instances where you shouldn’t be silent. Understanding that toxic masculinity can rear its head in a of variety ways is the first step to unlearning and more importantly, recognizing that there are self-perceived ‘good guys’ walking around that actively engage in misogyny without (probably) being aware of it.
Wrapping up, I want to make something clear to my fellow MEN, once again; this is not a message to then flood the DMs of your friends that are women, asking them to disclose all the instances where they’ve felt like they’ve been the victims of toxic masculinity; there are bountiful resources that we can find online that will help shatter and reshape our worldview, where we can begin to rebuild a sturdy bridge with women from all walks of life.
We ultimately have to normalize being receptive to feedback from the women of our lives, willing to be students when we’re told we’ve engaged in behaviors that have made them uncomfortable.
We should also be normalizing providing an ear and resources to help our fellow women because it’s the right, humane thing to do in exercising true empathy, not because you want some type of sexual return on your ‘investment’. Coupled with this, we shouldn’t expect free labor when commissioning work or assistance from our contemporaries that are women. Continuing to operate from a place that only feeds and nourishes our own egos is a byproduct of toxic masculinity that we no longer can afford to continue.
Concluding this weeks piece on a more positive note, below are a variety of different tracks & mixes by women I’ve come to appreciate and admire through their drive, creativity, and passion for the craft, but also for living their truth and being unafraid to address the bullsh*t.