A Quarantine Check-Up
Words to help with catharsis towards the end of a turbulent year.
INT. RADICULE’S FAMILY ROOM
RADICULE -- 24, Sitting on couch, The Sopranos muted in the background, water chimes helping to set the mood, with drink in hand.
RADICULE
It’s been a minute, huh? Welcome back to Thoughts Beyond the DAW, where we tackle a variety of topics pertaining to the beat community, music industry, and just day-to-day life. I hope you all have been well during our unprecedented hiatus; your favorite beat bohemian had a variety of things to take care of and I won’t lie, life had gotten pretty hectic during that break away and the mental left askew. However, we’re still here, coming to you live & direct with that gospel.
It’s been quite sometime since we’ve spoken and with that, I figured it would be a wonderful time to just have a drink with you all and engage in some long overdue self-maintenance talk. I realize this may come across slightly different in terms of tone and conversational texture, but I truly wanted to get some thoughts out into the ether that you might find some truth in and hopefully help purge out some toxic emotions that have accumulated over the course of this year.
Without a doubt, 2020 has been a year of struggle, loss, heartbreak, and to put it in completely blunt words, TRASH. The first few months of quarantine and spending time inside, cooped up, felt like it would be over before we knew it and now we’re entering a second phase across the country and really the world. Did we even get out of the first phase of this? Lamenting seems sort of trivial and repetitive, but at the same time, these feelings of frustration, anger, and fatigue need to be vented and expressed. Many have been impacted by this pandemic and COVID-19 on levels that I couldn’t even begin to effectively imagine. There are many I know who’ve had it themselves and been put through the full gauntlet of symptoms, and there are those who I’ve known that have lost perfectly healthy loved ones in a matter of days. Again, reflecting on the situation at hand in such a negative manner probably isn’t all that enticing to those reading, but I’m sure many of you feel similar and have gone through numerous stages of burnout within’ recent months.
With an encroaching second wave upon us, the post-election burnout and leftover pre-election anxiety are firing on all cylinders, in a voting season where many of us didn’t necessarily feel optimistic about the choices laid before us. Being thrust into a discussion of having to pick the lesser of two evils, whilst still maneuvering in a system that is inherently evil, it feels like insult is callously added to injury. Now of course, getting the wannabe tyrant out of office alleviated some mental pressure, but the subsequent messy nature of demanding recounts, refusing to relinquish the reins, and a not-so stellar record of those we’ve voted into ‘power’, it all still makes the stomach churn and the ass itch (excuse my language). Coupled with this, when you have a society that still sees the need to continue capitalist traditions (Black Friday) even through a pandemic where cases are on the rise everywhere, that should even further put into perspective where the concerns of this country lie.
In wrapping up on tackling election burnout, I'd like to also take a moment to remind you all (particularly the whites and POCs) that just because the man chosen as this countries president elect is generally considered the lesser of two evils, there’s still a much larger system that requires dismantling. Now to paraphrase the great A.Sarr, it’s okay to celebrate a little glimmer of hope in an otherwise bleak year, that I won’t take away from people and we do need to take those small wins as we can obtain them. However, as Biden inches closer to moving into the White House, don’t take that as a notion that America is back to being fireworks and apple pies. Your ‘I Voted’ sticker doesn’t absolve you of your privilege, nor does it dissolve the persecution that we, as BLACK PEOPLE, continue to have to stare down everyday, regardless of who’s in office. Now is the time to truly eternalize that energy of being an ‘ally’…don’t be one of those that just sprinkled that term like parsley into every work call meeting just to gain cool points from your boss.
While a plethora of us have known that this nation generally doesn’t hold the interests of the massively disenfranchised at heart, I do have to say that the massive influx in conspiracy theorists questioning the validity of this pandemic and state of world is equally concerning. My concern primarily stems from the amount of reckless abandon there’s been in the spreading of misinformation, as well as accusations placing others as complacent sheeple, saying we all need to just continue to live as normal in the face of a virus that’s taken 200,000+ from us in the United States alone. Granted, there were probably other health issues that may have led to death as well, but how insensitive is that rhetoric to families still grieving?
A government and country built on the graves of millions of souls from various racial backdrops clearly wouldn’t have any issue covering up a variety of things that would incriminate itself. The long awaited trial of The People v. America is something I hope to see in my lifetime, however, the disregard for the experiences of those that have suffered emotionally, financially, and physically in the face of the times we’re currently in is incredibly irresponsible. While I can agree that being ‘woke’ tends to involve addressing things that many others are uncomfortable addressing, it doesn’t give you a license to simply trample over those enduring an incredibly confusing and trying time, specifically those that are still trying to stand on the righteous side of our realm with their last legs.
Without an utterance of a doubt, this year has shed light on plenty of facades that we all were probably falling for. I can assure you that there are probably many a family member and friend that we all have had to come to terms with ceasing contact with due to ignorant, insensitive, and inappropriate comments made within’ the past few months. As much as there is a right to freedom of speech, there’s a right to cut off any and all that spew or repost bigoted, uninformed hot takes. It indeed takes a village to make progress and instill growth into one another, but we continue to see countless loved ones consciously walk down a path turning down empathy in the hopes of remaining true to a twisted sense of independence.
In identifying and coping with the waves of dissonant change, an abundance of individuals weren’t prepared for the impending storm and were ensnared in the tides. Plenty were already trying to navigate the waters of life on a makeshift raft that was holding up at the time and then everything chaotic as of late coalesced at once, and not a single splinter of stability was left. In that aftermath, many of us were able to sense out the fraudulent ones in the ever growing mist of 2020 and perhaps even hold up a mirror to ourselves, comprehending the very behaviors that might’ve pushed others away from us. With realizing the truth of those whom we can continue forward without, there are definitely bonds during this time that we’ve forced to implode through or own actions and toxic ways. We can’t travel back in time and a numerous amount of relationships will be forever put to rest or changed beyond their previous recognizable form.
Although this piece may read like a downtrodden journal entry to some, I look at all of this as a vehicle for catharsis. We are all tired, depleted, and quite honestly fed up with the condition of the world currently. However, a grand amount of truths have been revealed to us and the drapes that master manipulators have thrown over our eyes are being burned to ashes. If I can leave you with anything after reading this, it’s to cherish the ones that are still by your side in a healthy, loving, and caring capacity. The ones that can see your true potential or all that you can become will be some of your greatest assets & support systems that this universe can offer in the months to come.
Trying to find a path forward and the will to redirect one’s life towards brighter horizons nowadays, is no easy feat. Truth be told, there are plenty of people who are quietly fighting their own battles with depression, anxiety, & trauma, with recent events failing to help anything on that front. The proverbial term of ‘masking one’s emotions’ is now something that has become all too literal.
In closing, I suppose there are some key takeaways I want you all to reflect on before our next alignment: Change can be very jarring, America is still racist even after the election, capitalism has not & will never be the wave, and many of us need to take a step back from being aggressively ‘woke’, when we lack the capacity to properly learn, educate, or empathize with our peers.
While things may continue to feel grey for sometime, I can only offer my sincerest love, respect, and praise to you if you’re still here and trying to make things happen as we tread further murky territory heading into the new year. Some will want to talk and find solutions to the everyday ills that plague the mind, while others may just need a safe space to lament without judgment nor the instant need to find a solution: We got you covered no matter what you need. We all need to find outlets to vent and allow the fumes of over-exhaustion to billow into the cosmos.
It’s okay to simply acknowledge that you don't have the answers currently, as many of us don’t. We’re all still figuring this world out to the best of our abilities and now is the time to bring to fruition an idea that this country has continuously used as a selling point, but seldom delivering on: Unity.